A Lesson on Beasts
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: Ted convinces Andromeda to go to a Muggle spook house. Andromeda is less than impressed with the "creatures".


_For the lovely Em via GGE._

 _Word Count: 1299_

* * *

"Do you want to go to a haunted house?"

Andromeda glances up from her coffee, raising her brows at her husband. "A haunted house?" she echoes. "You mean like the Shrieking Shack?"

Ted rolls his eyes. "No. It's Halloween, and Muggles like to go to houses that are done up all scary," he explains. "Fake ghosts and monsters."

Andromeda chuckles. She's been married to Ted for two years, and she's learned so much about Muggles from him, but some things just feel silly. Why would anyone want to see a fake ghost? Hogwarts has enough real ones. As for monsters, there are plenty of creatures that fit the bill.

Still, his eyes twinkle with excitement. It doesn't matter how silly the request is; she'll do anything to keep a smile on his handsome face.

Andromeda takes another sip of her coffee before shrugging. "I guess. Should be a good laugh at least."

…

Halloween is definitely an interesting thing in the Muggle world. Andromeda had wanted to attempt to wear Muggle clothing to fit in, but Ted had assured it wouldn't be an issue. Sure enough, as she and her husband follow the line into the house, the man by the door glances at her cloak and says, "Cool costume."

"It's not a cos-"

Ted ushers her inside before she can finish the sentence. Andromeda scowls. "Well, it's _not_!" she huffs.

Her husband smirks and wraps an arm around her, but he doesn't say anything else about the matter. Andromeda takes this as a small victory and allows Ted to guide her along.

Her first impression of the haunted house isn't a good one. Obviously fake spiderwebs have been draped across the room, and it's almost comical. "Do Muggles have spiders large enough to make webs like that?" she asks.

"Thankfully, no," Ted answers with a snort.

They venture farther, entering the first room. This one is more unnerving because it's pitch black. Andromeda moves closer to Ted, swallowing dryly. She reminds herself that her wand is securely in her pocket.

Somewhere in the room, she hears a howl. Andromeda frowns. The sound is distant, but she guesses the room must be small; the house hadn't looked particularly large on the outside. She's about to ask Ted what he thinks when there's a sudden flash of light. She gets a glimpse of something about Ted's height and covered with fur. Another flash of light reveals the tattered shirt around its hairy body and the yellowing fangs in its snarl.

Once the initial shock of the thing passes, she laughs. She can feel Ted shift beside her as they move.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"Werewolves," Andromeda chuckles. "They don't look like that. It isn't even a full moon, Ted! Who are they trying to fool?"

His grip around her tightens slightly, and he quickens his pace. "Come on, Andi," he groans. "Just keep walking."

It doesn't improve from there. If anything, the creatures only seem more ridiculous as they move through each room.

"Leprechauns?" Andromeda snorts.

The tiny thing is dressed in a green suit. Blood drips from its mouth as it brandishes a black pot like some sort of deadly weapon.

"Don't tell me people are actually afraid of leprechauns," she says. "Have you ever seen one? Pain the arse, sure, but scary?"

"Come on, Andi," Ted laughs, shaking his head. "No one needs a lecture on magical creatures."

Andromeda shrugs. The leprechaun isn't as bad as the vampires two rooms back. Someone needs to let the Muggles know that vampires don't sleep in coffins.

A smile tugs at her lips. This house is just as ridiculous as she had assumed it would be, but she's enjoying herself. Muggles may not understand anything about the magical world, but their attempts to showcase the beasts is actually sort of sweet.

They pause in the foyer before the last room. Andromeda bounces anxiously on her feet, waiting for the room to open up so they can have their turn. As fun as the evening has been, she's ready to go home and make some hot cocoa so the two of them can cuddle by the fireplace.

"I bet they saved the scariest thing for last." Ted leans in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Just wait. It'll probably scare the hell out of us."

Andromeda rolls her eyes. The haunted house has been entertaining, but nothing has actually been scary. Well, Muggles' horrendous lack of knowledge on beasts borders on scary, but that doesn't count.

The door creaks open, and the two exchange grins. Andromeda hurries forward and is greeted by an ominous fog. A cackle echoes throughout the room, and Andromeda moves closer to Ted. Maybe he'd been right. That laugh is downright chilling.

"What is it?" she whispers, pushing back gauze curtains, eager to find the source of the noise.

One look at her husband, and she can tell he already knows the answer. She scowls. It isn't fair! She had done much better in Care of Magical Creatures than he had. Why can he identify what they're about to face.

"Oh."

She steps through the final curtain, frowning. A woman leans over a cauldron, cackling as a black cat hisses at the newcomers. It would almost be a familiar scene except that the woman has a comically long nose and green skin that's covered with warts and moles.

Andromeda rounds on Ted, arms folded over her chest. "That's what Muggles think witches look like?" she demands. "It's insulting!"

"Andi…"

"You aren't even stirring your cauldron right, you fraud! No one wants to get their fingers that close to a potion! Slughorn could teach you a thing or two!"

The witch stops. She's the first actor in the house to actually break character. Head tipped to the side, she stares at Andromeda in confusion.

"And lose the green skin! Merlin's beard! We look just like you! We-"

Once again, Ted takes charge. Clearing his throat, he pushes Andromeda gently forward. "You'll have to excuse my wife!" he calls. "She likes modern cinematic takes on witches!"

…

By the time they return home, Andromeda still feels annoyed. She waves her wand with more aggression than actually necessary as she summons flames to the fireplace.

"Jeez, Andi! Don't burn the house down," Ted says, already making his way to the kitchen to start the cocoa.

"Muggles think we look like that?" she asks again, stalking off behind him. "Really?"

Ted shrugs. "To be fair, I used to. _Wizard of Oz_ really messed up as a kid."

Andromeda doesn't know what Oz is or what its wizards are like, but it doesn't matter. "They think we're monsters!"

"Not all of them. Some think witches are cool," Ted says, summoning two mugs.

Andromeda rolls her eyes. "Really? Could have fooled me."

Ted sighs. For a moment, he doesn't speak as he mixes the chocolate powder into the steaming liquid. Once he prepares the cups, however, he breaks the silence. "People demonize what they don't understand." He takes a sip from his mug and lets out a satisfied sigh. "Admit it. Before you met me, you thought Muggles were a bunch of wicked, ignorant barbarians."

Andromeda shifts her weight from foot to foot. He has a point, as much as she hates to admit it. Her parents raised her to look down on Muggles and Muggleborns. "I guess," she mumbles.

"That mentality will always exist in the world," he says, offering her the second mug. "We just get to live with the knowledge that we've broken those barriers and can live in harmony."

"But green skin, Ted. _Green!_ "

He rolls his eyes and wraps his free arm around her waist. "Come on, love. I think it's time that you watch _Wizard of Oz."_


End file.
